Download Dave Barry’s Money Secrets by Dave Barry

Download Dave Barry’s Money Secrets Book by Dave Barry in PDF ePub Format.

Did you ever wish that you really understood money? Well, Dave Barry wishes that he did, too. But that hasn’t stopped him from writing this book. In it, Dave explores (as only he can) such topics as:• How the U.S. economy works, including the often overlooked role of Adam Sandler• Why it is not a good idea to use squirrels for money• Strategies that will give you the confidence you need to try for a good job, even though you are—let’s be honest—a no-talent loser• How corporate executives, simply by walking into their offices, immediately become much stupider• An absolutely foolproof system for making money in the stock market, requiring only a little effort (and access to time travel)• Surefire tips for buying and selling real estate, the key being: Never buy—or, for that matter, sell—real estate• How to minimize your federal taxes, safely and legally, by cheating• Why good colleges cost so much, and how to make sure your child does not get into one• How to reduce the cost of your medical care by basically not getting any• Estate planning, especially the financial benefits of an early death• And many, many pictures of Suze Orman But that’s only the beginning! Dave has also included in this book all of the important points from a book written by Donald Trump, so you don’t have to read it yourself. Plus he explains how to tip, how to negotiate for everything (including bridge tolls), how to argue with your spouse about money, and how much allowance to give your children (three dollars is plenty). He also presents, for the first time in print anywhere, the Car Dealership Code of Ethics (“Ethic Seven: The customer is an idiot”). Also, there are many gratuitous references to Angelina Jolie naked. You can’t afford not to buy this book! Probably you need several copies.What kind of financial shape are you in right now? This scientific quiz will show you. Be honest in your answers: If you lie, you’ll only be lying to yourself! The place to lie is on your federal tax return. What is your annual income?1. More than $50,000.2. Less than $50,000.3. However much I get when I return these empties. Not counting your mortgage, how much money do you currently owe?1. Less than $10,000.2. More than $10,000.3. Men are threatening to cut off my thumbs. How would you describe your portfolio?1. Conservative, mainly bonds and blue-chip equities.2. Aggressive, mainly options and speculative stocks.3. My what? When analyzing an investment, what do you consider to be the most important factor?1. The amount of return.2. The degree of risk.3. The name of the jockey. How do you plan to finance your retirement?1. Savings.2. Social security.3. Sale of kidneys.—from the Introduction: “Why You Need This Book”Also available as a Crown eBook.

Download Dave Barry’s Money Secrets by Dave Barry

Dave Barry’s Money Secrets by Dave Barry

published date : 2006-01-17
authors : Dave Barry
publishers : Crown
genre : Business & Economics, Personal Finance, Money Management, Humor, Form, Parodies, Essays
page count : 240
ISBN : 0307345378
Average Rating : 5
Rating Count: 2
DOWNLOAD LINK : EbooksDownloads.com

Dave Barry S Book Of Bad Songs


Dave Barry S Book Of Bad Songs

Author by : Dave Barry
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2012-11-06
Publisher by : Andrews McMeel Publishing

ISBN :

Description : The humorist asked his readers to share their least favorite tunes and chronicles the hilarious responses. When funnyman Dave Barry asked readers about their least favorite tunes, he thought he was penning just another installment of his weekly syndicated humor column. But the witty writer was flabbergasted by the response when over 10,000 readers voted. “I have never written a column that got a bigger response than the one announcing the Bad Song Survey,” Barry wrote. Based on the results of the survey, Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs is a compilation of some of the worst songs ever written. Dave Barry fans will relish his quirky take. Music buffs too will appreciate this humorous stroll through the world’s worst lyrics. The only thing wrong with this book is that readers will find themselves unable to stop mentally singing the greatest hits of Gary Puckett. Praise for Dave Barry’s Book of Bad Songs “Barry is his usual puckish self, but the real surprise here is how funny many of the survey respondents are.” —Kirkus Reviews “Who can resist such a book?” —Publishers Weekly...






Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up


Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up

Author by : Dave Barry
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2010-07-07
Publisher by : Ballantine Books

ISBN :

Description : NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • You can't make this stuff up. Dave Barry wouldn't lie—and here are the real life, laugh-out-loud stories from across America to prove it. Get up-close with Dave as he examines UFO thrillseekers and Elvis-worshippers, plays lead guitar with a horrifying rock band that includes Stephen King, and swears to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth in stories like these: • a U.S. Supreme Court justice shares his remedy for preventing gas ("I had not realized that this was a matter of concern in the highest levels of government") • a newspaper headline in Ohio announces the combustibility of strawberry Pop-Tarts ("A story that can really help you gain a better understanding of how you can be killed by breakfast snack food") • a frightening fact that snakes have mastered the pipelines leading directly to your toilet—and they're not shy ("Many women might view this as a fair punishment for all the billions of times that guys have left the seat up"). "Barry is at his best." —The Baltimore Sun "He zaps the funny bone." —The Cincinnati Post...






Best State Ever


Best State Ever

Author by : Dave Barry
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2017-09-05
Publisher by : Penguin

ISBN :

Description : A New York Times bestseller—a brilliantly funny exploration of the Sunshine State from the man who knows it best: Pulitzer Prize winner Dave Barry. We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, “What the hell is wrong with Florida?” Somehow, the state's acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Join him as he goes in hunt of the legendary Skunk Ape; hobnobs with the mermaids of Weeki Wachee Springs; and visits Cassadaga, the psychic capital of the world, to have his dog's aura read (apparently, she's "very spiritual"). Hitch a ride for the non-stop thrills of alligator-wrestling ("the gators display the same fighting spirit as a Barcalounger"), the hair-raising spectacle of a clothing-optional bar in Key West, and the manly manliness of the Machine Gun Experience in Miami. It's the most hilarious book yet from “the funniest damn writer in the whole country” (Carl Hiaasen, and he should know). By the end, you'll have to admit that whatever else you might think about Florida—you can never say it's boring....






Dave Barry S Greatest Hits


Dave Barry S Greatest Hits

Author by : Dave Barry
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2010-07-28
Publisher by : Ballantine Books

ISBN :

Description : When Dave Barry is on the loose, no one is safe! What Dave Barry did for the men’s movement in his Complete Guide to Guys and for foreign relations when he did Japan he now does for . . . everything in America. The rapacious observer of Tupperware ladies and leisure concept salesmen sounds off on: Football—Football is more than just a game. It is a potential opportunity to see a live person lying on the ground with a bone sticking out of his leg, while the fans, to show their appreciation, perform “the wave.” Sailing—There’s nothing quite like getting out on the open sea, where you can forget about the hassles and worries of life on land, and concentrate on the hassles and worries of life on the sea, such as death by squid. Gambling—Off-Track Betting parlors are the kinds of places where you never see signs that say, “Thank You for Not Smoking.” The best you can hope for is, “Thank You for Not Spitting Pieces of Your Cigar on My Neck.” “The good news: he’s funny as ever. The bad news: the book is only 304 pages.”—Los Angeles Daily News...






Dave Barry Is From Mars And Venus


Dave Barry Is From Mars And Venus

Author by : Dave Barry
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2009-08-26
Publisher by : Ballantine Books

ISBN :

Description : Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, bestselling author, and Wheel of Fortune contestant Dave Barry exposes the shattering truth. Whether he's splashing with the U.S. sychronized swim team ("Picture a bunch of elegant swans swimming with a flailing sea cow") or reliving the Pilgrims' first Thanksgiving ("We've decided to obliterate your culture, but first may we try the stuffing?"), Dave Barry proves that one man can make a difference--by having the guts to answer the questions few people bother to ask: ¸ What makes people want to eat animals they would never consider petting? ¸ Where do the World's Three Most Boring People meet? ¸ Why is Colorado freezing so many human gonads? ¸ And just how does Oprah have the power to turn a 1957 Hotpoint toaster manual into a #1 bestseller?...






Dave Barry Talks Back


Dave Barry Talks Back

Author by : Dave Barry
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2010-12-29
Publisher by : Crown Archetype

ISBN :

Description : Yet another collection of Barry wit and wisdom by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist and the author of Dave Barry Turns 40....






Dave Barry Slept Here


Dave Barry Slept Here

Author by : Dave Barry
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2010-07-28
Publisher by : Ballantine Books

ISBN :

Description : “What caused the American Revolution? This is indeed a rhetorical question that for many years historians have begun chapters with. As well they should. For the American Revolution is without a doubt the single most important historical event to occur in this nation except of course for Super Bowl III (Jets 16. Colts 7. This historian won $35).” So goes the skewed sensibility, the muddied mind, the bent pen of one of America's funniest writers, Dave Barry. This time his subject is U.S. history, the way it's never been told before. Every single momentous event and crucial moment is covered, including . . . • The Birthing Contractions of a Nation • Kicking Some British Butt • Barging Westward • The Forging of a Large, Wasteful Bureaucracy • Deep Economic Doo-doo • The Fifties: Peace, Prosperity, Brain Death . . . and right up through the scintillating Reagan-Bush years, during which, Mr. Barry notes, America is steadfastly Napping Toward Glory. If you love to laugh, if you love your country, if you are unaware that “the Sixth Amendment states that if you are accused of a crime, you have a right to a trial before a jury of people too stupid to get out of jury duty,” Dave Barry Slept Here is the book you've been waiting for since 1776. Or at least since Super Bowl III. Praise for Dave Barry Slept Here “A dazzling performance . . . Barry is brilliant.”—The Washington Post Book World “[Dave] Barry turns his formidable wit to the subject of American history, with a result reminiscent of the Reduced Shakespeare Company: The better you know the original, the funnier it gets.”—Los Angeles Times “I fear that Mr. Barry's dream of making millions of dollars through mass sales of his book to a captive audience of innocent schoolchildren will not be realized, and he will have to be content with making readers laugh a lot, as this one did.”—The New York Times Book Review...






Boogers Are My Beat


Boogers Are My Beat

Author by : Dave Barry
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2004-09-28
Publisher by : Crown

ISBN :

Description : The New York Times calls him “the funniest man in America,” and his legions of fans agree, laughing and snorting as they put his books on bestseller lists nationwide. In Boogers Are My Beat, Dave gives us the real scoop on: • The scientific search for the world’s funniest joke (you can bet it includes the word “weasel”) • RV camping in the Wal-Mart parking lot • Outwitting “smart” kitchen appliances and service contracts • Elections in Florida (“You can’t spell Florida without ‘duh’”) • The Olympics, where people from all over the world come together to accuse each other of cheating • The truth about the Dakotas, the Lone Ranger, and feng shui • The choice between death and taxes And much, much more—including some truths about journalism and serious thoughts about 9/11. Dave Barry won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary in 1988, and his columns are syndicated in more than 500 newspapers. His most recent books, Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down and the novels Big Trouble and Tricky Business, were national bestsellers. He lives in Miami, Floriduh. Also available as an eBook...






Dave Barry Hits Below The Beltway


Dave Barry Hits Below The Beltway

Author by : Dave Barry
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2002-10-29
Publisher by : Ballantine Books

ISBN :

Description : Just in time, Dave Barry supplies the wholly original, much needed history and guide to the new American politics and its three capitals, Washington, D.C., Austin, and South Florida. No surprise: it's hilarious. Understanding the urgent need for a deeply thoughtful balanced book to explain our national political process, Dave Barry has not even come close. Though he himself has covered many campaigns, run for President several times, and run for cover at the rainy inauguration of George W. Bush (the man will spare nothing for his art) Barry has instead outdone himself. Below the Beltway includes Barry's stirring account of how the United States was born, including his version of a properly rewritten Declaration (When in the course of human events it behooves us, the people, not to ask "What can our country do for us, anyway?" but rather whether we have anything to fear except fear itself...)and a revised Constitution (Section II: The House of Representatives shall be composed of people who own at least two dark suits and have not been indicted recently.). Dave also cracks the income tax code, explains the growth(s) of government, congressional hearing difficulties, and the persistent rumors of the influence of capital in the Capitol. Among other civic contributions, his tour of Washington, D.C., should end school class trips forever....






Dave Barry S Bad Habits


Dave Barry S Bad Habits

Author by : Dave Barry
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 1993-09-15
Publisher by : Macmillan

ISBN :

Description : Presents a collection of humor columns by Dave Barry, originally published in the "Miami Herald."...